It's 12:52 am, and I confess that for the last hour (or two?), I have been aimlessly sitting at my computer looking up jobs and internships in Greenville. Not because I'm looking for a job. Just because I may, at one time, need to find a job in Greenville. (i.e. in 10 months) And as I, er, continued, I actually HEARD the words of the song playing on my Pandora...
I surrender all, I surrender all, All to Jesus, I surrender, I surrender all.
Right... about that.
See, earlier today, during a brief stolen few minutes with a best friend, I confessed for the millionth time (well... let's be honest. I reiterated, restated, reopened, revisited, etc. Confession usually denotes surprise, and this friend is WELL aware of this flaw of mine) my perpetual habit of trying to plan out my life, needing to have every duck in a row, and how ultimately that's all just different manifestations of FEAR and idolizing CONTROL. I digress. Anyway, last night, I decided something.
I'm not taking the GRE this summer.
Which means I'm not applying to Grad School while I'm in Russia.
Which means, I don't have "a plan" for the what next of The Return. (dun dun dun...)
Which means, I can quit wasting time spreading myself too thin in this last month before leaving.
Which means, I can actually focus on the things I need to do, like packing, lesson planning, logistics.
Which means, I will spend more quality time with my family and friends.
Which means, I want to trust God and His plan more than I want to have one of my own.
(I mean, come on - when will I EVER understand mine will never be as good, right?!)
(As if leaving for 10 months for a foreign country isn't enough to take in... I'm always trying to load that plate up, you know. Silly me.)
But yeah, so.... my will power is a little pathetic.
But more importantly, no matter how many times I like to relapse back into that little habit, the major decision is still there, and I'm glad the Lord finally made me realize that I needed to decide to jump or not.
Oi vey.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
back again...
I got to dance today.
To take class, to even teach impromptu... which was great prep for next week when I'll be full on teaching all week - an incredible answer to prayer in very specific ways. And it was fun - I'm glad I got thrown in there to see how it went without worrying about it.
And, I even got to spend a few minutes alone in a dark studio all to myself, just me and Jesus... there's something about dance that says what you want without having to say it, and I love speaking that way with Him.
And it just really showed me -
I need to be doing more of that, continuing to spend time with Him in that way, and... even teaching kinda clicked. It reminds me of this post from a few years ago... There's something there - something good, and meaty, and full of substance. Something brewing, I can tell. And I want it. I know that wanting more of it means wanting more of Jesus, too. So I'm asking Him to pull me in closer.
I'm ready.
To take class, to even teach impromptu... which was great prep for next week when I'll be full on teaching all week - an incredible answer to prayer in very specific ways. And it was fun - I'm glad I got thrown in there to see how it went without worrying about it.
And, I even got to spend a few minutes alone in a dark studio all to myself, just me and Jesus... there's something about dance that says what you want without having to say it, and I love speaking that way with Him.
And it just really showed me -
I need to be doing more of that, continuing to spend time with Him in that way, and... even teaching kinda clicked. It reminds me of this post from a few years ago... There's something there - something good, and meaty, and full of substance. Something brewing, I can tell. And I want it. I know that wanting more of it means wanting more of Jesus, too. So I'm asking Him to pull me in closer.
I'm ready.
NISSI, My Banner is Clear
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions few, my guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, or preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work until He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problems recognizing me - my banner will be clear!
young african pastorAnother one of Jes' statuses... see what I mean?
In my weakness, I worry that I will never live up to this kind of Christian living. And similarly, my heart of prayer is often completely rebellious... which, duh, directly affects the way that I live. And yet, I find comfort in this tidbit from my friend Jeff:
Our prayers don't seem whiny. They are incense.Nice. So, somehow, even though my living is homely, and my prayers are lowly, somehow they are still incense. How is that? Well, that's why there's so much beauty in the Spirit interceding for us - He knows the wretchedness of our hearts, the Holiness of God, and the Love of our Savior. He not only saved us once and for all, He continues to pray on our behalf to the Father in glory. Amen?
Past, Present, Future Truth
I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed.
I have Holy Spirit power.
The die has been cast, I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made, I am a disciple of His.
I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure.
I'm finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits or popularity.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure.
I have Holy Spirit power.
The die has been cast, I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made, I am a disciple of His.
I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure.
I'm finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits or popularity.
I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded.
I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.
My good friend Jessica posts stuff like this as her status all the time, (in fact, the next post will be one of hers too) and the best thing about it is that, while they're not her own original words, these are words that I see active in her life. I had the privilege of staying in her room while I was at Ballet Mag, and that room has Holy Spirit presence. I'm not saying that the Spirit can't be anywhere, I'm just saying... He is welcome there, at home, comfortable. There is a chair there that calls his name. There is a rug that has been prayed on religiously, in the most sanctified use of that word. And the person that lives there reflects this kind of living, in her words, her actions, the cries of her heart, and even in her bedroom, where supposedly no one really notices... and that's why it made such an impact on me. These words are so BIG, so deep, so NEEDED, and so... not me. It's what half of me desires, but the other lazy, apathetic, people-pleasing, and fearful half of me resists at all costs. Sometimes I wish I could write this a million times, as if that action will etch it into my soul and my desires will change. As if painting it in big, broad strokes of crimson would keep me from forgetting my own heritage, the one that I never deserved, and never had to buy.
But I mean, seriously -
low living?
sight walking?
small planning?
smooth knees?
colorless dreams?
tamed visions?
mundane talking?
cheap living?
dwarfed goals?
... of these I am certainly guilty.
I often want to be right, recognized, and rewarded.
I forget that I have decided to follow Jesus.
I underestimate and take for granted that I am a temple of the Holy Spirit, and He is powerful.
I want to live as part of the fellowship of the unashamed.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure.
May this be in my heart and reflected in my life, Lord.
Amen.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Tell of His Goodness...
this will be, as many previous posts, a random and disjointed recollection of the things on my mind and in my life (to be literal, in my journal) from recent days... I basically learned so much in one week at Ballet Mag in Mississippi that I'll have to expound on it later, but I want to get down all the nuggets that were thrown at me in one post - both to finally put something out there, and to remember them, soak them in again, let them change the way I think once again...
Before I left...
Just a little something to get this started: God, the ultimate Healer, completely healed my grandpa of three different kinds of Leukemia. At Christmas this past year, he was looking at a month more of life, and at present, a bone marrow scan shows no sign of cancer and full remission status. Actual. miracle.
Day 1... after hearing of literal miracles and the way the Lord worked through Omega in Europe
Already, I'm encouraged, not just by the work you do through this ministry, but by what you're showing to me about yourself...
You keep your promises. You hear (and answer) our prayers. You are not bound by practicality or logistics. You know and love each one, each frame. You are the same God in Stuttgart, Germany as you are in Jackson, Mississippi and Belgorod, Russia. You are creative... you created everything... who am I to say something of your plan doesn't make sense? You have purpose in every part - you do not waste our time - every piece fits. You love, and care, and have concern for me, even in my weakness, my doubt, my fear.
O, house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the LORD. Behold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. Jeremiah 18:6
Day 2... what I would have hi-lighted were I not reading /Beyond Opinion, Ravi Zacharias/ during our chill time at Barnes and Noble (as in, the book wasn't mine...).
Credo quia absurdum. I believe because it is absurd.
"... the Christian faith has not so much failed to reflect reality, as that it never attempted to so do in the first place." Michael Ramsden
Weltanschaung - a word that means "conception of life", I'm assuming in German
... the end goal is not any goal of mine - no desire or dream or objective smaller than the glorious day of His return. It's all about that Glorious Day!
First Bible Study with the girls...
-Eternal Perspective
-How many times have you (in your own life) seen the Red Sea parted? How could you forget His goodness?
-... for in Him, all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell... Wow.
-The word of the Lord is flawless. (Rev. 12:11)
-If we're not completely lost searching for Him, we have no idea who we're supposed to reflect.
-Tolerance is the virtue of those who believe in nothing.
-If truth were all inclusive, nothing would be false.
-Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. - Jesus
Day 3...
I want to know you.
When I'm reading your word. When I'm in Bible study. When I'm seeking you in prayer. When I'm dancing. I want to truly know you.
I don't receive because I don't ask... and furthermore, my fear of asking for specific things, praying for more than just your generic 'will to be done' is really simply just a lack of faith under the guise of submissive prayer. Yikes.
It doesn't take much - when you said a mustard seed, you meant it.
Day 4... A note from Jessica
Trust Him. Let go - don't hold back. Cast your cares upon Him - haul, chuck, throw far away - and don't pick them back up. - Jessica
Do I want what God wants, or do I want what God wants no matter the cost? Until the will and affections are brought under the authority of Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone to accept, His lordship. - Elisabeth Elliot
Do not let fear dissipate your energy. Instead, invest your energy into trusting me, singing your song. - Jesus Calling
While watching Alpha perform
The Arrival...
Every time you feel me stirring something inside of you, you try to start figuring out all the plans for Me... I am God. I love you, and I can do ANYthing. Let ME do the planning for you. Jump into my arms. Don't retreat, staying back in the studio trying to analyze how the jump and catch works. I will catch you! Don't be the little girl at the pool, running in attempt to the side, yet constantly retreating out of fear... you keep wanting to know which direction to start planning, but I want you to just learn to wait for my plans AS I GIVE THEM. Each step, each breath. You already have all you need to know. I can do ANYthing.
Ruth...
Like the wheat, there is purpose in growth, in me making you ripe for harvest.
Let my Holy Spirit intertwine around your heart and guide you, as surely and as faithfully as this illustration in front of you.
These dancers...
By all common understanding, their abilities are miraculous. Kathy is 55 stinkin years old, dancing with no limitations. Hannah's scoliosis should be so severe that she'd have trouble with regular exercise. Christina had an organ appear out of nowhere in her body, and an impending case of hip dysplasia cured. Ashley started ballet at age 17. John was a full on engineer before he quit his job to do this. You are God. You delight in using the weak to shame the strong, what is foolish in the world to shame the strong. (I Cor. 1:27)
Day 5... John Vandervelde's wisdom
Deeds... from the heart-->outward, not the skin<--inward. (If the motivation is right, then everything on the outside is a beautiful, pleasing aroma... if the motivation is wrong, the exact same offering is a stench that the Lord hates.)
Rewards to lay at the feet of Jesus in heaven - actually tangibly real, and subsequent to salvation... this is where motivation for godly living comes --> faithfully completing the work that God has called us to do. (I Corinthians 3:9-17) We're created *apart from works* in order to do good works, that we could not do when we were not saved. Everything we do now has *another* purpose.
I'm an evangelist, carefully disguised as a Walmart worker.
The people in life who know why are the bosses of the people who know how.
Do not exclude the word sin. "He who rebukes a man will, in the end, have more favor than he who has a flattering tongue." Proverbs 28:23
Christians in the secular environment, with responsibility, power, honor, and respect: Daniel (2nd in command of 3 dynasties), Joseph (2nd in command of Egypt)
Day 6...
"How long, O God, is the foe to scoff? Is the enemy to revile your name forever? Why do you hold back your hand, your right hand? Take it from the fold of your garment and destroy them! Yet God my King is from of old, working salvation in the midst of the earth." Psalm 74:10-12
Merry's testimony...
-danger: applying the side effects of dance to your spiritual life (perfection, people-pleasing, idolatry)
-A testimony is not "all the bad things you did, and then: Jesus"... a testimony is: Jesus.
Miss Brenda...
[Nehemiah] [learn what it means to PONDER] [do not be distracted - stay on course] [don't get in the pit and wrangle with 'em]
All that was needed for life, GOD provided.
** It's not just about saving people - it's about their lives going on to bring glory to God after that. (Whoa... )
Day 7
Nominal Christianity: a dangerous religion [nominal: existing in name only]
On wisdom:
"The unfolding of your words gives light, it imparts understanding to the simple. I open my mouth and pant, because I long for your commandments. Turn to me and be gracious to me, as is your way with those who love your name. Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me." Psalm 119:130-133
A reminder, courtesy of Erin Beaver:
...You are the temple of the HOLY SPIRIT.
...He speaks to His sheep.
"For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." Hebrews 10:14
Day 8...
"I get into some wild spots at times, but nothing I do is difficult. It's not difficult because I'm driven by love. I am compelled and motivated by love. It is my passion for Jesus that causes me to pour compassion into others. That's the gospel - a passion that births compassion. All fruitfulness flows from intimacy unto a harvest... He is looking for servant-lovers who know who they are and are not afraid - so full of love that fear is not a word in their vocabulary. Radical lovers of God move in radical compassion." -Heidi Baker
Like I said... eclectic, long, and all over the place. But kindof like a mosaic of the truths that He's been teaching me lately.
Before I left...
Just a little something to get this started: God, the ultimate Healer, completely healed my grandpa of three different kinds of Leukemia. At Christmas this past year, he was looking at a month more of life, and at present, a bone marrow scan shows no sign of cancer and full remission status. Actual. miracle.
Day 1... after hearing of literal miracles and the way the Lord worked through Omega in Europe
Already, I'm encouraged, not just by the work you do through this ministry, but by what you're showing to me about yourself...
You keep your promises. You hear (and answer) our prayers. You are not bound by practicality or logistics. You know and love each one, each frame. You are the same God in Stuttgart, Germany as you are in Jackson, Mississippi and Belgorod, Russia. You are creative... you created everything... who am I to say something of your plan doesn't make sense? You have purpose in every part - you do not waste our time - every piece fits. You love, and care, and have concern for me, even in my weakness, my doubt, my fear.
O, house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the LORD. Behold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. Jeremiah 18:6
Day 2... what I would have hi-lighted were I not reading /Beyond Opinion, Ravi Zacharias/ during our chill time at Barnes and Noble (as in, the book wasn't mine...).
Credo quia absurdum. I believe because it is absurd.
"... the Christian faith has not so much failed to reflect reality, as that it never attempted to so do in the first place." Michael Ramsden
Weltanschaung - a word that means "conception of life", I'm assuming in German
... the end goal is not any goal of mine - no desire or dream or objective smaller than the glorious day of His return. It's all about that Glorious Day!
First Bible Study with the girls...
-Eternal Perspective
-How many times have you (in your own life) seen the Red Sea parted? How could you forget His goodness?
-... for in Him, all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell... Wow.
-The word of the Lord is flawless. (Rev. 12:11)
-If we're not completely lost searching for Him, we have no idea who we're supposed to reflect.
-Tolerance is the virtue of those who believe in nothing.
-If truth were all inclusive, nothing would be false.
-Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. - Jesus
Day 3...
I want to know you.
When I'm reading your word. When I'm in Bible study. When I'm seeking you in prayer. When I'm dancing. I want to truly know you.
I don't receive because I don't ask... and furthermore, my fear of asking for specific things, praying for more than just your generic 'will to be done' is really simply just a lack of faith under the guise of submissive prayer. Yikes.
It doesn't take much - when you said a mustard seed, you meant it.
Day 4... A note from Jessica
Trust Him. Let go - don't hold back. Cast your cares upon Him - haul, chuck, throw far away - and don't pick them back up. - Jessica
Do I want what God wants, or do I want what God wants no matter the cost? Until the will and affections are brought under the authority of Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone to accept, His lordship. - Elisabeth Elliot
Do not let fear dissipate your energy. Instead, invest your energy into trusting me, singing your song. - Jesus Calling
While watching Alpha perform
The Arrival...
Every time you feel me stirring something inside of you, you try to start figuring out all the plans for Me... I am God. I love you, and I can do ANYthing. Let ME do the planning for you. Jump into my arms. Don't retreat, staying back in the studio trying to analyze how the jump and catch works. I will catch you! Don't be the little girl at the pool, running in attempt to the side, yet constantly retreating out of fear... you keep wanting to know which direction to start planning, but I want you to just learn to wait for my plans AS I GIVE THEM. Each step, each breath. You already have all you need to know. I can do ANYthing.
Ruth...
Like the wheat, there is purpose in growth, in me making you ripe for harvest.
Let my Holy Spirit intertwine around your heart and guide you, as surely and as faithfully as this illustration in front of you.
These dancers...
By all common understanding, their abilities are miraculous. Kathy is 55 stinkin years old, dancing with no limitations. Hannah's scoliosis should be so severe that she'd have trouble with regular exercise. Christina had an organ appear out of nowhere in her body, and an impending case of hip dysplasia cured. Ashley started ballet at age 17. John was a full on engineer before he quit his job to do this. You are God. You delight in using the weak to shame the strong, what is foolish in the world to shame the strong. (I Cor. 1:27)
Day 5... John Vandervelde's wisdom
Deeds... from the heart-->outward, not the skin<--inward. (If the motivation is right, then everything on the outside is a beautiful, pleasing aroma... if the motivation is wrong, the exact same offering is a stench that the Lord hates.)
Rewards to lay at the feet of Jesus in heaven - actually tangibly real, and subsequent to salvation... this is where motivation for godly living comes --> faithfully completing the work that God has called us to do. (I Corinthians 3:9-17) We're created *apart from works* in order to do good works, that we could not do when we were not saved. Everything we do now has *another* purpose.
I'm an evangelist, carefully disguised as a Walmart worker.
The people in life who know why are the bosses of the people who know how.
Do not exclude the word sin. "He who rebukes a man will, in the end, have more favor than he who has a flattering tongue." Proverbs 28:23
Christians in the secular environment, with responsibility, power, honor, and respect: Daniel (2nd in command of 3 dynasties), Joseph (2nd in command of Egypt)
Day 6...
"How long, O God, is the foe to scoff? Is the enemy to revile your name forever? Why do you hold back your hand, your right hand? Take it from the fold of your garment and destroy them! Yet God my King is from of old, working salvation in the midst of the earth." Psalm 74:10-12
Merry's testimony...
-danger: applying the side effects of dance to your spiritual life (perfection, people-pleasing, idolatry)
-A testimony is not "all the bad things you did, and then: Jesus"... a testimony is: Jesus.
Miss Brenda...
[Nehemiah] [learn what it means to PONDER] [do not be distracted - stay on course] [don't get in the pit and wrangle with 'em]
All that was needed for life, GOD provided.
** It's not just about saving people - it's about their lives going on to bring glory to God after that. (Whoa... )
Day 7
Nominal Christianity: a dangerous religion [nominal: existing in name only]
On wisdom:
"The unfolding of your words gives light, it imparts understanding to the simple. I open my mouth and pant, because I long for your commandments. Turn to me and be gracious to me, as is your way with those who love your name. Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me." Psalm 119:130-133
A reminder, courtesy of Erin Beaver:
...You are the temple of the HOLY SPIRIT.
...He speaks to His sheep.
"For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." Hebrews 10:14
Day 8...
"I get into some wild spots at times, but nothing I do is difficult. It's not difficult because I'm driven by love. I am compelled and motivated by love. It is my passion for Jesus that causes me to pour compassion into others. That's the gospel - a passion that births compassion. All fruitfulness flows from intimacy unto a harvest... He is looking for servant-lovers who know who they are and are not afraid - so full of love that fear is not a word in their vocabulary. Radical lovers of God move in radical compassion." -Heidi Baker
Like I said... eclectic, long, and all over the place. But kindof like a mosaic of the truths that He's been teaching me lately.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Love.
The Love of God is something that I feel I've never understood. It's not that I don't feel loved, and not that I don't know what it means to give love, but this different kind of Love, the kind with immeasurable depth, the kind that should (but so often doesn't) cause awe and quaking humility, confuses me. I feel as though I can never live up to an appropriate response of His love, stemming from an inadequate understanding of how much I take it for granted. I know... I'm getting extremely wordy. And even re-reading that, I know that this shouldn't be the way I seek to understand His love... it's the "free gift" of my childhood evangelism education, and yet still I struggle to understand and accept something that I both take for granted and can't grasp the weight of.
Charlie spoke on 1 Corinthians 13 today - the well-worn paragraph used to define Love the world over. But I really appreciated hearing more about why Paul said these words, why Love was described in this way to those people. Paul was speaking not in generalized statements, but specifically to the behavior and lack of true Love displayed by the Corinthians... hence, the reason this paragraph comes in the 13th chapter, after Paul has spoken to each of these areas previously. As I looked down the list in a new way, I easily saw a Corinthian reflection in my own life... this time, I didn't read through in the traditional practice, replacing "Love" with "Juliana" to check my behavioral status, but instead, reversed the list to see what Paul saw in the people he was lovingly calling out:
Am I... impatient? unkind? envious? boastful? arrogant? rude? selfish? irritable? resentful? proud of sin?
I know I could supply a very specific example to each one of these without difficulty.
I read in a devotional today that the word "pure," when used in the sense of a musical tone, means free from harshness or roughness, and being in tune. It made me think about parts of my character that are characterized by roughness, that are not in tune with God's version of Love. Whether it's the shortness with which I carelessly treat my parents, or the worry that I have let creep back into my view of the future, my melody is blaringly off-key.
What's more, all of these "adjectives" in the Love paragraph of 1 Corinthians 13 are actually verbs in Greek... Love is only Love when we see it in action.
And one more thought that really struck me - Paul was speaking to a church with many gifts, many talents, and a wealth of Biblical knowledge. The Lord spoke to them in visions and manifested himself in supernatural ways, and yet... they lacked Love. Though God can surely use us in our insufficiency, blindness, and arrogance (or, I should say, despite it) our doctrinal knowledge or spiritual commitment are not the gauge for our hearts - authentic Christianity flows out of a heart of Love.
And so, actually in a backwards way, I started this post with the compilation of truths below... which all happened to point directly to this Love that I'm trying to understand. I hope these words bless you as much as they did me, I hope my ramblings help you to think as much as they made me.
God's love is meteoric, his loyalty astronomic, his purpose titanic, his verdicts oceanic. Yet in his largeness nothing gets lost; not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks. Psalm 36:5-6 (Message)
How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light. Psalm 36:7-9 (ESV)
I'm more of a sinner than I ever dared imagine, but I'm more loved than I ever dared hope. (Tim Keller)
The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell
It goes beyond the highest star
And reaches to the lowest hell
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His only Son to win
His erring child He reconciled:
You and I pardoned from our sin.
When ancient time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall
When men here refuse to pray,
And rocks and hills and mountains call
God's love, so sure, shall still endure
All measureless and strong
Redeeming grace to Adam's race
Shall be the saints' and angels' song
get this:
Could we with ink the ocean fill
And were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whole
Though stretched from sky to sky
(listen to Ascend the Hill sing this here)
Words.
Words are important to me...
sometimes the beauty of the way words are arranged is so overpowering, I have to stop and repeat them in my mind, write them down, sing them, dance them. I can't listen to songs without hearing the words and the meanings they intend, which... sometimes can be a bit burdensome, and sometimes it makes me want to press repeat over and over again. When Scripture resonates with me, I'm compelled to simply rewrite it, to inscribe its truth once again, hoping to write it on my heart and mind as it comes out of my pen. I love the arranging of words - the perfect combination of well-placed words in a poem or lyric, or arranging them myself in order to demonstrate something important... to read well-written words, to hear the words sung in the instruments of music... I love the words exchanged between people who care about each other - discussions about things that matter, conversations that spur on and encourage, lift up and repair, bless and send, share and invite. In choreography, there are words. There are words I am trying to tell you through each movement, through the emotion they create. There are words spoken by others that I want you to know and experience. There are words spoken through the combination of movement and music that I don't even know, words only you understood when you saw. There are words that I want to say as I create that only some will know - the choreographer, the dancer, the Creator. And I think whatever comes my way - profession, location, kaleidoscope community - words will always be important.
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