white Christmas musings...

Chinua Achebe wrote a book called Things Fall Apart.  I'm not really going to go into a diatribe comparing my family's relationships to the colonization of Africa, but I feel like borrowing his title for a minute.  Miscommunication happens.  Fight for individual independence while living at home during college happens.  Sibling age gaps happens.  Being the oldest sibling and understanding all sides of the conflict happens.  Being the youngest and identifying conflict as your family's character happens.  Being the middle one and feeling like you'll always be looped in with the youngest one happens.  Being the only boy and feeling like you're always blamed for everything happens.  Being the mom and wondering where you went wrong, why they all don't want to hang out with each other all the time happens.  Being the dad and feeling trapped in an endless cycle happens.  Things fall apart.  I feel like both a participant and a witness these days.  And I'm learning to not be so selfish... that it takes what I may see as sacrifice to start building the brick layers of healthy family relationships... and it's worth it.  Tomorrow I'm probably going to play in the snow - in front of my own house.  I'm going to curl up and read a book with my sis.  I'm going to watch White Christmas with the sisters.  I forgot that I want to spend time with them, and that's a shame.  What a gift I've been given, and yet - sometimes I have chosen to leave it for another day.  Well, that day's tomorrow.  Things can be put back together again.